Note: the following is the first chapter of what was a novel-in-progress. It is the transcript of a reading by me, Ivan Von Noshrilgram Sr - celebrated philosopher-botanist, wild game hunter, exotic animal trainer, extinguished firewalker, writer and humanitarian lecturer, at the East 75 Street Community Centre, in New York City, sometime in September 1972. Please pardon any indecisiveness that may seem to exist in terms of theme, character, style, storyline, genre or raison d’être. (As an aspiring writer, these were elements I found most challenging.) Oh, and also pace. Pace, and tone... and maybe direction? Really, it was a work-in-progress; but a very scary one. It’s to be published by Doubleday in the spring of next year. Well, maybe. They don’t seem to be answering their phone. …Perhaps they’ve relocated?